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1994-04-27
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44KB
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891 lines
Joke & Quotes v1.4
Copyright 1994, M.L. Wester All rights reserved.
INTRODUCTION
Jokes & Quotes is being distributed as Shareware. Be sure to
read the license agreement at the end of this document or in the
ORDER.FRM file.
Jokes & Quotes is a standalone or NETWORK ready, daily message
display system. The registered version contains over 6000 jokes,
quotes, maxims, antecedents, stories, facts, axioms, platitudes and
more selected from 25 "on screen" categories. (The shareware version
now in your possession contains nearly 4000.) A "broadcast" message
sent to all users makes up the opening screen while special messages
can be sent to individuals or groups based on an environment data
search.
Jokes & Quotes maintains a .SET file for each network user. No
user sees the same quote twice and every user sees something
different. LAN administrators control display content, number of
quotes limits and user specific/global messages by editing the JQ.CFG
file.
Installation on a standalone system consist of copying the files
to a subdirectory then running the program. Installing for LAN use
is just as simple. Copy the files to a subdirectory in a public area
on the server then execute the program by running it from the users
home directory. Jokes & Quotes will automatically create the SET
file and determine where it's configuration and data files are
located. All you got'ta do is run it.
IMPORTANT STUFF
The NUMBER ONE FEATURE of Jokes & Quotes is the content. As an
administrator of a 75 user LAN, I know first hand the diversity and
range of people that inhabit the network world. Little old ladies,
college students, attorneys, corporate managers, atheist, christians,
rednecks and more. What gets diplayed in a public environment has to
be priority #1.
To meet this need I have read every line of text in the Jokes &
Quotes data files and sought to remove controversial references to
sex, politics and religion. These three subjects seem to be the
easiest to do wrong. This includes the rewriting of gender or race
specific text that may be potentially offensive. You can be certain
that there will be something, somewhere that will offend someone, but
I have went to great effort to minimize the chances.
I should also mention that I have tried to include only data
that is positive in nature. There is a lot of fun and entertaining
stuff that promotes the wrong idealogies. Having said this I realize
that a lot of people may disagree as to my judgement on what is
positive or negative, but...such is life. It should also be noted
that some of the jokes deal with mature subjects and may not be
appropiate for children. This does not mean there are any "dirty
jokes", it just means that some of the subject matter is beyond a
pre-adolescent's realm of comprehension.
NOTE: There are certain categories that may not be appropriate
for all network environments such as Lawyer jokes, (Some attorneys
have a weak sense of humor) but I have included them for those who
can appreciate them. All the jokes and quotes in all categories have
been censored for sexually explicit content and vulgar language.
Bear in mind that all categories can be selected or deselected
by individual users so categories that may not appeal to some may
still be used if they appeal to others.
The Association of Shareware Professionals
_______
____|__ | (R)
--| | |-------------------
| ____|__ | Association of
| | |_| Shareware
|__| o | Professionals
-----| | |---------------------
|___|___| MEMBER
Michael L. Wester is a member of the Association of Shareware
Professionals (ASP). The ASP wants to make sure that the shareware
principle works for you. If you are unable to resolve a shareware-
related problem with an ASP member by contacting the member directly,
ASP may be able to help. The ASP Ombudsman can help you resolve a
dispute or problem with an ASP member, but does not provide technical
support for members' products. Please write to the ASP Ombudsman at
545 Grover Road, Muskegon, MI 49442-9427 USA, FAX 616-788-2765 or
send a CompuServe message via CompuServe Mail to ASP Ombudsman
70007,3536.
SHAREWARE
The Jokes & Quotes program is being marketed using the shareware
method. This means you are encouraged to share copies of the
unregistered version for evaluation purposes. If you wish to use
Jokes & Quotes on a regular basis either network or stand-alone you
are required to register with the author. Please read the futher
explanation of shareware and the copyright notice near the end of
this document.
VENDOR INFORMATION
One Line Description
Jokes & Quotes - Network ready, daily quote/message program.
Long Description
Jokes & Quotes is a NETWORK ready, daily message display system.
Nearly 4000 jokes, quotes, stories, maxims and more are selected from
25 "on-screen" categories. Users have options to print quotes,
deselect categories, random select at startup, change colors, enable
screen blanker, reset category to any record and more. Network
features include global messages to all users, special messages to
selected users, limit number of jokes displayed daily, administrator
controled categories and more. Full mouse support and context
sensitive help.
DISTRIBUTION POLICY
ASP vendor members in good standing are automatically given
permission to distribute Jokes & Quotes. Non-ASP vendors are
required to send notification that you are including my program in
your collection. I do not require Non-ASP vendors to send copies of
their catalogs or meet any specific standards but as I spot check
vendors to examine their distribution methods, I do reserve the right
to prohibit distribution by any vendor I deem unworthy.
Distribution on CD-ROM or rack sales is strictly prohibited
without prior written permission from me, Michael L. Wester. Contact
me. I'll usually give permission.
PROGRAM FEATURES
* Full NETWORK support. Jokes & Quotes has been designed with
features for network administrators and content suitable for the
various users of network systems.
* Lots and lots of jokes, quotes, axioms, maxims, stories, facts,
platitudes, cliches, postulates, proverbs, sayings, adages,
tales, parables etc.....
* Full mouse support. Almost every function of Jokes & Quotes can
be controlled with a mouse.
* Entertaining opening display shows the categories as it slows
down to make it's pick. Sound on or sound off.
* Context sensitive HELP. Every feature is only a keystroke away
from a concise description of what that feature does. It even
has context sensitive information on each category!
* Ability to print Jokes or Quotes to any supported LPT port
including logical network ports.
* Option to have joke categories randomly selected each time the
program is run.
* Adim